#incorrect loki and thor

[incorrectmcuquotess]

Loki: Can I have these question mark stickers?

Thor: Why?

Loki: I wanna put them on stop signs! [runs out]

Thor: Loki no!

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Tim: Oh, Damian's tried to kill me lots of times.

Tim: There was one time when we were younger, he disguised himself as a case file, because he knows I love case files.

Tim: So I went to pick it up to work on it and he took off the disguise and went 'MBLEGH it's me!' and stabbed me.

Damian: *smiles fondly at the memory*

Dick: Damian, no stabbing your brothers.

Jason: There's a more important issue here. How the fuck was he disguised as a case file -

[everwalldigan]

(Dick coming to collect Jason after he’s been “wrongfully” captured by the justice league while Batman is off world:)

Dick: Listen, Hood might be a criminal, but he’s one of Gotham’s. And he’s my brother.

JL: he killed 80 people in two days.

Dick: …he’s adopted?

Jason, glaring while bound to a chair: SO ARE YOU???

[malpractisnt]

Marvel x text posts I made instead of doing whatever you should be doing after making a house md x text posts post.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Loki: Thor, haven’t you learned by now that I can outsmart you whenever I want?

Thor: You cannot.

Loki: Say “fort”.

Thor: Fort?

Loki: Now say it three times.

Thor: Fort, fort, fort.

Loki: Spell it twice.

Thor: F-O-R-T, F-O-R-T.

Loki: Say it two more times.

Thor: Fort, fort.

Loki: Now what do you eat soup with?

Thor: Ha ha! FORK! Ha!

Loki: Really? Because I eat my soup with a spoon.

[Loki leaves]

Bruce: See, if you ate soup with a fork, the liquid would just fall—

Thor: I KNOW!!

[lovelyinspiration1463]

Loki: Regrettably, this is my circus.

Loki, looking over at Thor: And that is my monkey.

[thor-loki-probably]

They don’t age like humans I’m crying this is so funny to me

Tony: so how old are you? like 30?

Thor: 30?! Do I look like an infant to you? Brother! Do I look like a child??

Loki: You look stupid, that’s what you look like.

Tony: Child?? The fuck??

Thor: I am a perfect 1,500 thank you. And Loki is 1,000.

Tony: what

[saraakpotter]

avengers incorrect quote: flirting

avengers imprisoned Loki and are standing in front of him

Nat {to the others}: we have to wait till y\n gets here

Loki {overhearing}: y\n?

Clint: yes, obviously!

Steve: she is an avenger!

Loki: i know who she is

Bruce: she wanted to get some files from s.h.i.e.l.d she will be here any minuet

Loki: {nod}

Nat: oh by the way Loki.....dont flirt with her

Tony: yeah reindeer games, its kinda obvious you know? you being the enemy and stuff......

Loki: shut up, besides im not going to fli......

{y\n walks in}

Loki: im a god you mortals cant tell me what to do!

[fvck-the-patriarchy]

You, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Loki: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Loki: Here you go.

You:

Loki:

Thor: Why am I here?

[spideyson-stuff]

I know we all love Loki and Peter being friends idea, but what about Peter HATING Loki and Loki being completely devastated by it?

Peter is just mad because Loki is a liar, and he HATES LIARS

Are you telling him that this guy threw Tony out of his own tower window and betrayed his brother multiple times? nah ah, nop, huhhuh, I don't like this guy!

Loki is already depressed because, this child is kind and friendly to everyone, WHY CAN'T HE BE LIKE THIS TO HIM!?

Seriously everyone loves this kid because he's adorable and kind, Loki is feeling so left out that Thor once found him in a dark corner sitting in the fetal position crying

Tony has never been so happy, Thor has never been so worried and shocked for his own brother

And it's not the kind of hate where you call people names and are rude, nohohohohoho, that Loki would accept

It's the kind of hate where the person acts normal but looks at you with disgust, disagrees with you almost always and silently judges you for EVERYTHING, it's suffocating

Loki: STOP IT YOU'RE KILLING ME!

Peter: I'm not doing anything

Loki: EXACTLY! 😭😭😭

[autumnistic-danmei]

Thor: Brother, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Loki: Well of course I have.

Loki: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Loki: It's boring.

[incorrectmarvels]

Loki: I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.

Thor: I’d be more comforted if you didn’t put ‘feelings’ in air quotes.

[luxthestrange]

RoR Incorrect quotes#137 Fun in Dysfunctional

Tired!Y/n:  Hey, you want a tarot reading? Loki: Those are Pokemon cards. Tired!Y/n: You got a magikarp. Loki: ... Tired!Y/n:  It means 'fuck you'

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Loki: Live, laugh, love! Tired!Y/n:  Die, cry, hate-

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Buddha: I dare you- Loki: Y/n is not allowed to accept dares anymore. Buddha: Why not? Tired!Y/n: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say...rich coming from him right?

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Thor: What are y’all’s favorite things to wake up to? Buddha: Breakfast in bed! Loki:  Emails from AO3! Tired!Y/n:  My favorite thing to wake up to is not waking up at all... Tired!Y/n:  The screams of my enemies are a close second though...

part 3 of:

[annmaximoff18]

Wanda: I listen to you and I don't judge you

Pietro: I listen to you and I judge you

Loki: I don't listen to you and I judge you

Thor: I don't listen to you and I don't judge you

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Loki: Why is it so hard for you to believe me?!

Thor: ...

Loki: Oh, right. The lying.

[incorrectcompoundnotes]

Loki in his cell on Asgard: I must say, that friend of yours with the glasses was rather charming.

Thor: Banner? He’s interesting for a midguardian. His eyes are… *clears throat* He’s fine.